THE DIFFERENT FORMS OF GOVERNMENT 12/2/1988
From John Galt, Dreams Come Due (NY: Simon and Schuster, 1986)
[pp. 145-6] [Kindly uploaded by Freeman 10602PANC]

In the interest of explaining the way various forms of government function politically and economically, the following examples (based on an old European joke) are presented for your edification:

Socialism You have two cows; there is an election. The new government takes one of your cows through taxes and gives it to your neighbor. The neighbor knows nothing of livestock so his new cow dies.

Communism You have two cows; there is a revolution. The new government confiscates both your cows and gives you a small portion of the milk they produce. Both cows soon die, but the government is able to get powdered milk on credit from a democratic government.

Fascism You have two cows; there is a military coup. The new government confiscates both your cows and sells you part of the milk for ration coupons.

Nazism You have two cows; there is an assassination. The new government confiscates both your cows and shoots you.

New Dealism You have two cows; there is a depression caused by the government, and then an election. The new government buys your cows with currency it has just printed. It then shoots one cow, hires an unemployed person to milk the other cow, and throws the milk away in order to help raise milk prices.

Democracy You have two cows; there is a surplus of milk and prices are low. You appeal to the government to subsidize your milk for the “good” of the country. The government enacts your program, raises taxes on its citizens, and buys your milk at inflated prices. It then stores the milk in rented warehouses until it spoils or they can find a communist government to buy it on credit and at a loss.

Capitalism You have two cows. You sell one cow and buy a bull. There is freedom and prosperity.